The Proper Way to Handle a Teacup at Tea
The proper way to handle a teacup at tea, depends on where the tea is served. Such as:
- A dining table with individual place settings
- A low table ["coffee" table] surrounded by a couch and chairs
- A serving table, or buffet type table, set out in the middle of the room
As for the foods served at afternoon tea, they are generally supposed to be neat finger foods. They should not be foods that require an excessive amount of finger licking or napkin wiping. Put another way, this is tea, not a BBQ. Flatware may be provided, if the scones are served with butter, cream, and or jam, or if a "frosted" tea sandwich, or sliced fruits, like melon are served, but these types of foods are only ideal when guest are seated.
- A dining table with individual place settings
- A low table ["coffee" table] surrounded by a couch and chairs
- A serving table, or buffet type table, set out in the middle of the room
As for the foods served at afternoon tea, they are generally supposed to be neat finger foods. They should not be foods that require an excessive amount of finger licking or napkin wiping. Put another way, this is tea, not a BBQ. Flatware may be provided, if the scones are served with butter, cream, and or jam, or if a "frosted" tea sandwich, or sliced fruits, like melon are served, but these types of foods are only ideal when guest are seated.
Dining Table with Place Settings:
The dining table with place settings is usually employed at a tearoom, or hotel salon, or even at home. Food is either served in courses, or it is placed on tiered trays. In this setting, if something is out of your reach, then simply ask the person nearest you and the item, to pass it to you. When you wish to have your teacup filled or refilled, politely ask the "mother," or the pourer for some tea, and then pass your teacup on its saucer to that person, with the spoon resting on the saucer behind the cup, both the teacup handle and spoon handle should be at the "4'o-clock" position of the saucer. This is the proper way to handle a teacup anytime a "mother" or a pourer is employed . The 'mother' will hand the cup, and saucer back to you, after supplying you with the tea, and any other requests such as milk, sugar, or lemon have been added. The teacup, and saucer are then to be replaced to their correct position on the table; at the upper right of the food plate. When you wish to sip some tea, then remove the teacup from its saucer, pinching the handle, remembering to keep your fingers tucked in, while the saucer remains in its place on the table. Because you are seated at a table, you may drink from the teacup without holding its saucer.
A Low Table:
The low table is about knee height, and surrounded by a set of comfy chairs and maybe a sofa, and seems to be a much more cozy, relaxed and intimate arrangement, yet it is not without its proper etiquette. So don't allow the casual setting to lull you into being a lazy guest. At a low table, the food is served from a tiered tray, or other platters, and presented to guests, by the host/hostess. The guests choose their refreshments, which are then placed onto his/her small plate situated in front of them. This is not a the best situation for the use of flatware, so try to keep the food simple.
Just as described above, when the tea is properly steeped and ready to pour, the hostess, or designated pourer, or "mother", will pour your tea, and then ask for your preferences, and then hand you your teacup on its saucer. The teacup and saucer are to stay on the low table, while you hold your food plate off the knees at waist height in one hand, while food is eaten by using the other hand. Never overload your food plate, as you can always ask for more food. When you are ready to take a sip of tea, balance your food plate on your lap, lift the saucer off the low table, pinching the handle of the teacup and keeping your fingers tucked in, take a quiet sip, or two of tea and return the teacup and its saucer back onto the low tea table. Pick up the food plate off your lap when you wish to take another bite of food, and repeat these steps throughout the tea. A good rule to follow is when a table is more than 12 inches away from you, then the teacup must stay with its saucer in your hand when you drink from it.
Just as described above, when the tea is properly steeped and ready to pour, the hostess, or designated pourer, or "mother", will pour your tea, and then ask for your preferences, and then hand you your teacup on its saucer. The teacup and saucer are to stay on the low table, while you hold your food plate off the knees at waist height in one hand, while food is eaten by using the other hand. Never overload your food plate, as you can always ask for more food. When you are ready to take a sip of tea, balance your food plate on your lap, lift the saucer off the low table, pinching the handle of the teacup and keeping your fingers tucked in, take a quiet sip, or two of tea and return the teacup and its saucer back onto the low tea table. Pick up the food plate off your lap when you wish to take another bite of food, and repeat these steps throughout the tea. A good rule to follow is when a table is more than 12 inches away from you, then the teacup must stay with its saucer in your hand when you drink from it.
A Serving/Buffet Table:
A tea table (as seen in the picture to the left) is employed for large gatherings, or when there are more guests than can be accommodated by using a dining table, or a low table. The tea table is arranged with trays of food, plates, napkins, teacups and other necessary flatware and tea ware. The tea may be poured by the hostess, or honored guest, or it may be set up as a self-serve situation from a large tea pot, or samovar, if the crowd is very large. This situation can be more challenging than the others for the tea guest. If seating is provided, but no table is within reach, then once seated carefully balance the food plate on your lap. The teacup and saucer are to be held in your left hand if you are right handed, at waist level. The cup is raised to your lips without bending forward to take a sip of tea, if you are left handed, then you should be holding the teacup and saucer in your right hand. Eating from the plate balanced on your lap is perfectly acceptable in this situation since there is no table to set your cup, and saucer on. Or you can transfer some food from the plate on your lap to the saucer and eat from it. If there are no tables, and no seats provided or all the seats are taken, and if no specialized snack plates have been made available [see picture below], then not to worry.
Simply place a few small pieces of food to the side of the teacup on the saucer and eat from it, and drink your tea as previously prescribed. In this case, you'll have to return to the tea table often to acquire more food. There should be a tray provided on a side table near the tea table to place used dishes. Do not put used dishes directly onto the tea table, as it is to be kept uncluttered and beautiful throughout the tea. For the host/hostess who is going to have a large standing party, I highly recommend that if you are fortunate enough to have snack plates, please use them. They are a godsend to the host/hostess and your guests. Not only will there be less
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dishes to wash, but your guests will be grateful to you for giving them less items to fuss with. When using the snack plate, you can simply keep it at waist level as if you are seated with no table in reach.
Teacup & Saucer Fauxpas
No upturned pinkies, please.
No slurping, or gulping your tea- only quiet tea sipping, please.
No cupping the teacup in your hand, that is fine for mugs, or handle-less teacups, but not for
handled teacups.
No setting the teacup onto the table without its saucer underneath it.
No tea swirling, it's tea, not wine, besides, that is what the teaspoon is for.
No clanging the teaspoon against the sides, or scraping the bottom of the teacup, a gently
figure-eight swish in the center is all that is needed to stir in milk, sugar, or honey.
Never bang the teaspoon on the teacup rim after stirring your tea. After stirring, give it a
slight shake, or "cigarette tap", then place the spoon onto the saucer behind
the teacup, with the handle of the spoon at the 4-o'clock position, under the teacup
handle.
Never leave the teaspoon in the teacup.
Never overfill a teacup with tea, as this invites spills. Fill the cup 3/4 full, this gives ample
room for additions such as milk, a lemon slice, sugar, or honey and stirring without
slopping, or spilling tea.
No slurping, or gulping your tea- only quiet tea sipping, please.
No cupping the teacup in your hand, that is fine for mugs, or handle-less teacups, but not for
handled teacups.
No setting the teacup onto the table without its saucer underneath it.
No tea swirling, it's tea, not wine, besides, that is what the teaspoon is for.
No clanging the teaspoon against the sides, or scraping the bottom of the teacup, a gently
figure-eight swish in the center is all that is needed to stir in milk, sugar, or honey.
Never bang the teaspoon on the teacup rim after stirring your tea. After stirring, give it a
slight shake, or "cigarette tap", then place the spoon onto the saucer behind
the teacup, with the handle of the spoon at the 4-o'clock position, under the teacup
handle.
Never leave the teaspoon in the teacup.
Never overfill a teacup with tea, as this invites spills. Fill the cup 3/4 full, this gives ample
room for additions such as milk, a lemon slice, sugar, or honey and stirring without
slopping, or spilling tea.
Why "4 o'clock", you may be wondering? Well, I don't really know why. This is what is taught by most of the etiquette gurus, and they give no explanation for it. At least I haven't found the reason why in the many books, articles and websites I have read through. If I were to hazard a guess, there might be a couple of reasons for it. The 4 o"clock position seems to be the most natural, or ergonomic position for your hand when you are reaching for something, like a teacup. Also, it is highly regarded as "tea time" in England, even though, afternoon tea can be served between the hours of 3pm to 5pm.
My Exception To This Rule
Now, I do realize that it is very difficult for a lefty to live in a right handed world (my Timothy is a "lefty") so, when I invite someone to tea, who I know is a "lefty" I try to seat them where they have more elbow room and then I am able to break with tradition by setting their teacup and saucer to their left, and position their cup handle and spoon at the 8 o'clock position. I know, I know, that is not proper etiquette, but it is a nice thing to do, and makes the "lefty" feel special, which his also nice if they are the guest of honor.
My Exception To This Rule
Now, I do realize that it is very difficult for a lefty to live in a right handed world (my Timothy is a "lefty") so, when I invite someone to tea, who I know is a "lefty" I try to seat them where they have more elbow room and then I am able to break with tradition by setting their teacup and saucer to their left, and position their cup handle and spoon at the 8 o'clock position. I know, I know, that is not proper etiquette, but it is a nice thing to do, and makes the "lefty" feel special, which his also nice if they are the guest of honor.